CHICKENHAWKS
The following information was taken from the website
of the New Hampshire Gazette, http://www.nhgazette.com/chickenhawks.html
A chickenhawk is a term often applied
to public persons — generally male — who
(1) tend to advocate, or are fervent supporters of
those who advocate, military solutions to political
problems, and who have personally (2) declined to
take advantage of a significant opportunity to serve
in uniform during wartime.
Some individuals may qualify more
for their political associations than for any demonstrated
personal tendency towards bellicosity. Some women
may be included for exceptional bellicosity.
There is another, less savory definition
of the term chickenhawk. It is not relevant to this
discussion; we intend no such associations to be drawn
here.
We encourage every interested American
to feel free to nominate chickenhawks, or to fill
in missing information. Nominations are solicited
from all sources.
George W. Bush: Yeah, right. He was
in uniform. Big deal. See http://www.awolbush.com
Bill Clinton: He
may have launched a few cruise missiles to distract
us from a dalliance with a girl half his age, but
our judges believe he wasn't bellicose enough to make
the cut. Your mileage may vary.
Tom Delay: "DeLay's
excuse for having a yellow streak as wide as the Rio
Grande down his back is truly imaginative, if you
take a delight in the bizarre. The man who believes
Dioxin is good for you (again, we are not making this
up), claims that he volunteered for Vietnam, but all
the spots were taken up by minorities, so he was not
allowed to serve. Clearly all those years of exposure
to toxic chemicals had some serious side effects on
'Ol Tom." - Esther and/or Jeff Clark
Paul Harvey: A
complicated case. We're working on a dossier.
Ted Nugent: An
amusing case. We're working on a dossier.
Richard Perle:
We're working on a dossier.
Ronald Reagan:
A complicated case. He remains listed because our
judges believe his bellicosity outweighs his relatively
painless service.
Pat Robertson:
"[His own] libel suit [against fellow former
Marine Pete McCloskey] turned out to be an embarrassment
to Robertson. During depositions, Paul Brosnan, Jr.,
a retired university professor who served with Robertson
in Korea, backed up [Congressman Pete] McCloskey's
claim and went even further, asserting that the televangelist
had consorted with prostitutes and had sexually harassed
a Korean cleaning girl who worked in the barracks."
--Rob Boston, The Most Dangerous Man in America,
Prometheus Books, 1996. Our judges feel his remarkable
service in the field of bonehead politics outweighs
the marginal service he provided, particularly given
his acquiescence to his old man's efforts to snatch
his chestnuts out of the fire.
Steven Spielberg:
We read his films as ultimately adding to the glorification
of war. Perhaps we're wrong. This nomination has been
challenged, and is open to debate.
John Wayne: "Another
notable Hollywood faker to consider is Marion Morrison.
Born in 1907, he decided to jump past his competitors
like Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda by using his married
status as a reason to avoid volunteering for the cause.
As John Wayne, a phony name for a phony man, he played
a lot of war heroes, while he ran away from anything
resembling patriotism, except the pose. - Ray Duray
Click
here to see the complete chart.
Another Sort of Chickenhawk Altogether
We realized with a shudder today that with all the
noise we've making about "chickenhawks"
- who are in general a less-than inspiring lot - we've
neglected to mention a self-described chickenhawk
of an altogether different sort: Robert Mason.
Robert Mason was an Army helicopter pilot with the
First Cavalry in Vietnam in 1965 and 1966. His best-selling
memoir "Chickenhawk" will likely remain
the definitive portrayal of the war as seen from the
pilot's seat of a Huey.
In 1984, when Mason's "Chickenhawk" was
on the New York Times best seller list, its author
was in prison for trying to sail a boat full of marijuana
into the country. How an ace Army helicopter pilot
became a drug smuggler is revealed in Mason's second
book, "Chickenhawk: Back in the World."
It will come as no surprise to Mason's fellow veterans
that PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder –
had something to do with the course of his life after
the war. Mason's aptly-named wife Patience wrote a
valuable book of her own, Recovering From the War:
A Guide for all Veterans, Family Members, Friends,
and Therapists, published by Viking in 1990.
The fact that the term "chickenhawk" applies
to belligerent draft dodgers like Saxby Chambliss
and Tom Delay, and to men like Robert Mason, is, as
far as we can tell, simply further proof that if you
follow something to its extreme, you may meet its
opposite. |