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News :: Miscellaneous |
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Osage Orange Season Opens in Champaign County |
Current rating: 0 |
by Winston Smith
Email: tree_suicide (nospam) yahoo.com (unverified!) |
17 Feb 2002
Modified: 20 Feb 2002 |
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On Friday, February 15th, osage orange season opened in Champaign County. |
 On Friday, February 15th, osage orange season opened in Champaign County. |
On Friday, February 15th, osage orange season opened in Champaign County. The season will run for one week, closing next Friday, February 22nd. According to Missy Tomlinson, head of the Hunting Services division for the county, this season marks the first time trees have been open to hunters. Ms. Tomlinson stated that the county had been studying other states which have already implemented the new sport, and says that the results look encouraging. “In Gatlinburg, TN,” said Ms. Tomlinson, “the tree hunting season has been wonderfully successful in reducing the number of unwanted tree species. Champaign County has only so many arborists, and they can only cut down a limited number of trees per year. The season allows the avid sportsman a chance for some outdoor adventure, while at the same time displays his/her patriotic spirit by helping out the county and his country.” The osage orange was singled out this year because “there have been numerous complaints about the large green fruit which the tree drops onto the forest floor in the autumn. People were tripping on the big balls and one person twisted an ankle while jogging through Busse Woods. To protect the people of the county, our arborists have decided to eliminate all of the osage orange trees.
Busse Woods, owned by the Urbana Park District, was a popular place on opening day. Hunters roamed the woods in search of a trophy Osage Orange, armed with gas powered chain saws, cans of green spray paint, and 6-packs of beer. On opening day over 30 trees had been cut and marked with green paint. The green paint on the trunk of the tree signals to other hunters that the tree has been taken. Andy Fosberry, of Tolono, was out early on Friday, and recorded the biggest take of the day, an osage which he estimates to be over 100 years old. “I came out early so I could get a big one,” he said. “ I plan on using the wood for bonfires in my backyard.”
The days only sour note came when a group from the Sierra Club came to Busse Woods to protest the new sport. Bob Porter, a student at the University of Illinois majoring in Comparative Marxist Studies, said that the cutting down of trees for sport was unethical and showed a disrespect for mother earth. “We came here today to take a stand against this new sport. I like to walk here on sunny days and feel the nurturing strength of the trees, but now these woods are open to hollering drunk men armed with chain saws cutting down trees. This is yet another reason to vote Green come next election.” Ms. Tomlinson said that the group had a constitutional right to voice their concerns, but that it showed a lack of patriotic spirit. “Today’s American Youth should have more respect for their country, and what makes it great. This new sport shows why America is the richest and best country on the planet. We take a collective effort in solving our problems, and the men and women out here today cutting down the osage are examples of heroism in action.”
Osage orange hunting licenses can be purchased at the Champaign County court house in Urbana. The cost is $50. For more information on the rules and regulations, call the Urbana Park District at 367-1536. |
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Chainsaws Are Inhumane |
by Elmer Fudd
(No verified email address) |
Current rating: 0
17 Feb 2002
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Chainsaws make for a slow and agonizing death for a tree. I believe that hunters should be allowed to take trees using an AK-47 or other gun, like God intended. It would avoid most of the suffering. |
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Misquoted |
by Bob Porter
bwp61 (nospam) ix.netcom.com (unverified) |
Current rating: 0
20 Feb 2002
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I'm afraid that I was seriously misquoted in the above article. While I fully support anyone who chooses to vote Green in the upcoming elections, I must admit that I have no love for the Osage Orange tree and it's ilk. Ever since my family and I were terrorized by the aforementioned trees when I was a tender young sapling, I have felt an overwhelming hatred of this particular species, and would like nothing better than to see it eradicated from the face of the Earth.
By the way, I've changed my major from Comparative Marxist Studies to Relativistic Anarcho-Syndicalist Nativistic Healing Arts. It just seems more relevant in these uncertain times.
Yours in Christ,
Bob Porter |
