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Hidden with code "Policy Violation" |
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Announcement :: Economy |
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REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE |
Current rating: 0 |
by editorial repost
(No verified email address) |
22 Feb 2005
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Investment Offer from Martha Stewart |
REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE
Hello, friend.
I must sincerely solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. What I am about to divulge to you in this email is top secret and if it offends or does not meet with your business ethics, I crave your indulgence.
I am Martha Stewart, a member of a special committee set up by Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. -- a business located in the United States of America. My committee is saddled with the task of periodically auditing investment accounts held by the corporation.
In the course of our work at the committee, we discovered many thousands of shares of stock in a corporation known as ImClone -- stock which has increased in value so rapidly that top government officials of the current presidential administration of George W. Bush might easily become suspicious and request that we sign the stock over to a governmental agency, such as the Limbaugh Foundation for Media Fairness and Accuracy. In countries such as mine, where the government often rules by brute force and military power, this is a common occurrence. Consequently, we have a desperate need to sell this valuable stock and divest US$30 Million as soon as possible
I have therefore been mandated as a matter of trust by my colleagues in the committee to look for an overseas partner to whom we can transfer the sum of US$30 Million. We are hoping to legally transfer the entitlement to you/your company. This is bearing in mind that United States law forbids its citizens from owning foreign companies or keeping foreign bank accounts, with the exception of those within the presidential administration itself -- hence our pressing need for an overseas partner.
We have agreed that the funds will be shared after it has been paid into your chosen banking account. We have also agreed that our own share of the fund will be used to start an importation business in conjunction with you as it is illegal to bring cash into the U.S.A. In fact, the customs agents often strip-search travelers and look into their every orifice with flashlights. This is far from pleasant, I assure you.
All logistics are in place for the smooth conclusion of the transaction within ten days of commencement after receipt of the following information: Your full name, company name, address, company's details & activities, telephone & fax numbers. Also please send all of your credit card information and any sexual fantasies you may be incubating. This is merely a precaution, and after all, we are now business partners, no?
This information will enable us begin the process and file documents with the concerned ministries and agencies in favor of your company. It is pertinent to state here that this transaction is entirely based on trust, as the bank draft or certified check drawable on the John Wayne Bank of America is going to be made in your name.
In order to move forward quickly, please respond to me at the information you'll find below my signature so I can bring you into the complete picture of this pending project and provide more information as to its successful conclusion. At this point, I'm assuming you're no longer even reading this, so I can pretty much say any damn thing I want. Carrot Top must die. Go Yankees!
The best response, however, would be by telephone, so we can discuss fully all issues needed to complete this venture successfully and in good time. As we say in my country: Yadda, yadda.
I await your prompt and positive response to this business proposal. Hop to it, Sparky.
Thank you and God bless.
Yours faithfully,
Martha Stewart
P.S. TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL.
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Martha Stewart
3271 Michacuhiba St.
Greenwich, CT 06830
Tel: 203-555-7734
Fax: 203-555-7731
Email: martha (at) savemarthastewart.com |
See also:
http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2005/02/1710793.php
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This work is in the public domain |
