|
Comment on this article |
Email this Article
|
|
News :: Regime |
|
Security Warning System For Important People |
Current rating: 3 |
by grateful but concerned
(No verified email address) |
21 Feb 2003
|
|
A citizen proposal. |
Society of Ordinary People Concerned for the Safety of More Important People
Like many other citizens I've been deeply touched by the current administration's thoughtful and tireless reminders about my impending doom at the hands of mysterious, hidden and evil strangers who hate my personal freedom. I'm so grateful for their concern and relentless vigilance lest I should mindlessly succumb to a few minutes of terrorlessness Important people do so much for us ordinary citizens, but what have we done for them? I worry that intelligence officers, politicians, and media correspondents are so busy inventing news they might miss the real thing as it happens on the street among real people, consequently their safety might also become an issue. To this end I propose that the citizenry create a grassroots 'Department of Homeland Security' style institution to be named The Society of Ordinary People Concerned for the Safety of More Important People the purpose of which is dedicated to impressing upon important people a sense of the fragility of their own mortality, so that they will feel more secure.
Security Warning System for Important People:
Green: The masses are intently watching television and shopping at Costco. Important people are completely free to what they will without hindrance.
Yellow: The masses are taking interest in affairs of state and whispering among themselves. Important people should wear dark sunglasses and travel with an armed escort in limos with darkly tinted windows.
Orange: The masses are openly expressing disbelief, contempt and mocking sarcasm at corporate media and politicians. Pundits, politicians, and lobbyists are in extreme danger of being heckled in public or pelted by rotten fruits and vegetables. Important people should stop by the Heritage or Brookings Institute for focus-group researched platitudes and media soundbites. Important people should travel in battered Ford Tauruses and disguise themselves with fake mustaches.
Red: The masses are planning armed ambush along routes to Washington National Airport (sometimes erroneously referred to as 'Reagan National Airport') and Edwards Air Force Base using .50 caliber DU rounds stolen from Arkansas' National Guard Armory by Ollie North's former associates. All important people are required to have themselves plucked up by helicopter and taken to ranches in Texas or to underground nuclear bunkers where they must seal their mouths shut with duck tape. |
See also:
http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=239256&group=webcast
|
