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John Kerry's application |
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by Ed Email: frozenthought (nospam) hotmail.com (verified) |
18 Oct 2004
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> JOB APPLICATION
>
> NAME: John Kerry
>
> RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth
> multi-millions.
>
> I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> EXPERIENCE:
>
> Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut
> every
> law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston
> to
> remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my
> neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> MILITARY:
>
> I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get
> an
> early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as
> documented
> by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then
> returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and
> insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities
> and
> were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my
> medals,
> ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam
> Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel
> about
> the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> COLLEGE:
>
> I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
> counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
> admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
>
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>
> After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been
> there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very
> rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I
> served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
>
> As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
> exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently
> failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their
> budgets,
> thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted
> for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted
> for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan
> to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am
> elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he
> will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and
> have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts,
> despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam
> (four months).
>
> I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
> places
> like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper
> cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for
> sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam
> (four
> months).
>
> Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
> Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as
> it
> might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served
> in Vietnam (four months).
>
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>
> None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I
> ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V
> Jet
> the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel
> yacht the "Scarmouche".
>
> I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
> culture.
>
> I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
> mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles
> and
> blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004. |
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